I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
