you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Found the puke drawer
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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