it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
