I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
