I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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