So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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