I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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