Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize