i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
