I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
