Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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