We're facebook friends in real life
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
