his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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