This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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