Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
