Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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