First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
