I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
