she was so not down for the gang bang
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
