I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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