Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
