my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
