If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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