i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize