piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
