I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It's blow job season.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
you never un-have a 4some
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
