carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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