Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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