im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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