Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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