you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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