Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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