i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
