He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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