You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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