i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize