Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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