pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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