The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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