yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
