I just saw a hot homeless man
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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