piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
