I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
