i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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