Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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