I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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