My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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