Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize