I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
