im having a threesome with these popsicles
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
