She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
