your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize