somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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