Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
