i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
