I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
