So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize