You're my little dorito
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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