Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
