i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
