she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
