maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
