He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
