You work out of a Hotel?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize