i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
