First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
