OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
